An Introverted Extrovert’s Thoughts on Social Distancing and Isolation

I took one of those Myers Briggs tests once, and it came out that I am an “Introverted Extrovert” - someone whose energy comes most from being around people, but who also benefits from recharging in solitude. That’s definitely me in a nutshell. Being isolated is one thing; I’m a homebody, I spend a lot of time at home, and this is nothing new. What’s been increasingly difficult for me, is the fact that everyone else is at home too.

Before I go into this, let me just put it out there before the naysayers: I understand why this is what it is. I understand why these quarantine and isolation rules are in place. I get it. However, I hate it.

I keep battling in my head how I want to write this post. On one hand, this is my blog, my space (not MySpace), my online “journal” of sorts. I can write whatever I want, but I know I have to tread carefully. Some may read this exactly as I’m intending it to be: Venting. Some, though, will see this as “Yet another attention-seeking cry for help” and immediately flood me with calls/texts just to make sure I’m okay. I’m fine. Physically, everything’s tip top. Emotionally, different story, but I’m fine. I’m getting by. I’m surviving. Wouldn’t say “thriving”, but I’m surviving. I’m hanging in.

Believe me, I am beyond grateful for those who are concerned for me, and I understand where they’re coming from when reading something like this. However, this is my outlet. I don’t have someone living with me I can talk to. Sure I can pick up the phone and call someone, and often do, but some things I feel better letting out on this forum. I’m not going to stop doing that, because this is my catharsis. Part of the reason I maintain this blog and write on it, is because while living alone as a single man, I share parts of my life and thoughts with all of you.

All… six of you, whomever is reading this.

I joke about having low numbers of readers, but I’m grateful for each and every one of you. With all due respect, I’m doing this for me, but I am extremely grateful for those who share in my content, and who are suffering right along with me.

I went to the grocery store yesterday, and for the first time, went in with almost everything but a hazmat suit.

It was, in a word: bizarre.

Seeing people walking around with masks and gloves on was strange. I felt strange to be among them, yet I didn’t get any funny looks from anyone; everyone walked around like it was “normal.” I even saw another woman with the same mask as me, and I complimented her on her choice of masks, as silly as that may be. Is this the new normal? How long are we going to be living like this until we can go back to breathing the air around us without worrying if it’s going to make us sick?

More importantly, when can we go back to actually spending time with people? That’s been the absolute hardest thing for me. I’ve not stayed in my apartment for longer than 2 days, because I need to be around people, in some capacity. Whether it’s the guy making me a sandwich at Subway, the clerk ringing me up at the supermarket…anyone. I just need human interaction. I need to talk to another human being in person. I can’t be sequestered in my apartment forever; can’t do it, won’t do it. I’m grateful for the technology tools that are out there to allow us to video chat with people, but it’s just not the same. It’s not the same as giving someone a big hug when you haven’t seen them in a while. It’s not the same as playing cards with someone you love spending time with, and who always makes you laugh. It’s just not the same, and I miss it more than I can write.

To make matters worse, I’m supposed to be on a cruise right now. I’m supposed to be in Key West, having just gone parasailing, and wandering around the downtown area near the pier. I most likely would have been writing about it here and posting some pictures. We’d then be going to Grand Cayman, Costa Maya, and Cozumel in Mexico. This was a much needed vacation that I’m now spending stuck at home. I wrote about it in an earlier post which you can check out here.

So, it’s not a happy Easter. I’m stuck home, can’t hang out with my friends, and not on the cruise I’d booked and had been looking forward to for months. However, I’m hanging in. I know it’s a tough time, and I know we’ll get through it, but right now, it sucks.

For those getting ready to call the police to come and do a welfare check on me, no need. I’m fine.

Tomorrow I’ll be fine; the sun will rise tomorrow, and so will I. As long as the sun rises, so will I. I’ll stay here in my apartment (with my occasional departures for that little dose of human contact I need) until I don’t have to anymore, then you best believe I’m grabbing as many of my friends as possible and putting an end to this social distancing and isolation. There will be laughs, and there will be hugs….eventually.